JudoWolf.com

Grilling is man’s purview and women have no business being close to the fire. Every man thinks he is a grill master but the results can be disastrous.

The first grills were charcoal that men did not know how to start. They were lost till their woman started the fire and then they would cook the hot dogs to perfection but the steaks were either mooing on the plate or burnt beyond recognition.

Propane grills paved the way for men to become grill masters, as they no longer needed to start a fire. Men flocked to the stores and bought these grilling behemoths with every option available as the bigger and shiner it was the better it would cook. Some mastered the grills but many failed except with hot dogs as most men break the cardinal rule of grilling – ALCOHOL and GRILLING DO NOT MIX. The three phases of the rule follows.

Phase 1:  Barbecues are with friends, family, and men congregated around the grill. The coolers of beer are near the grill and the men start consuming it. The grill is perfect for hot dogs, the children are hungry, the grill man is attentive, and his beer consumption is just beginning.

Phase 2: Begins when the wife brings out the hamburgers, chicken, steak, and ribs reminding the griller to pay attention. He tells her not to worry as the grill has plenty of capacity and there are different temperatures. He is alert, everything is going well, his friends crowd around the grill, start to give him direction on what to turn and watch, the grill is getting to hot, and his beer consumption has increased. He over hears an argument regarding his football team, turns the heat down, shuts the lid and joins in.

Phase 3: Is in full swing, the discussion is heated, everyone has joined in, and his beer consumption is near his limit. His wife comes out and tells him she needs four cheeseburgers handing him the cheese. Opening the grill a large plume of smoke overwhelms the deck and he immediately turns off the propane. When the smoke clears all the meat on the grill is unrecognizable. His wife rushes out making sure no one is on fire, hands him two more packages of hot dogs, and tells him not to burn them.

With kindest regards, Judowolf