Enough Sports Propaganda Nonsense

Good evening, my name is Obnoxious Stevearino your host for the new talk radio show Stevearino’s recap of all sports of the day. This show is about the caller, so I want all you sport nitwits to grab your cell or rotary phones and get ready to do battle with the expert – me. All day I monitor the hot sports stories, and the new controversies, which pop up un-expectantly. No story is out of bounds, and I want to hear from you the sport fanatics who will defend their team to the death. The forum will be easy – I will make a statement, defend it a little, maybe play devil’s advocate, pick a random caller, and off we’ll go. There will be no commercial interruptions as this program is brought to you by the new ED (erectile dysfunction) product called Keep It Hard, the new pill which guarantees a five hour erection, so you will able to satisfy three women during your conquests on the gridiron.

Obnoxious: How many of you are sick and tired of Kiper Mel’s voice constantly saying this team got or didn’t get the player they wanted; this prospect is going to be the next Johnny Unitas, this team was really helped by the draft, or this team didn’t help themselves. I am so sick of hearing his voice I started to feel nauseas before the first round was completed. All he does is make predictions on players who have not played a single down in the NFL. Please callers help me out with this problem.

Caller # 1: This is Louie from Saint Louie. Obnoxious, I agree with you a hundred percent regarding Kiper Mel’s analysis, speculation, prediction, and what teams benefited and didn’t benefit from the draft. Sure football has become the number one sport in America, but a network has raised its status to that of a god. Having the entire draft on the network is stupid. The average person has to work, really doesn’t care who his team takes after the first round and knows the chances of a draft pick being a franchise player is slim to none. The network is a giant hype machine to get the viewers to watch. People have more important things to do than watch a bunch of executives picking the so-called winners. Kiper and the talking heads making comments on the picks based on the Combine performance and stats, which have nothing to do with playing in the NFL. How fast a person can run the forty-yard dash or how high they jump is a real indicator of the success they will have in the league. When they have played in the league for five years, it will show us how good they can be, where they were picked in the draft will not matter by then.

Obnoxious: Hey callers, Mel always refers to a prospect when he performs well as his stock goes up. I always thought stock were animals?

Caller # 2: This is Monty from Montana. Obnoxious, we call all animals stock. It seems he is referring not to animals but the stock on Wall Street. I always thought you bought stock on its ability to make money and the less risk the better your chances of making a gain. These prospects are all bad risks that are going to make millions before they play one down in the league. The smart man would give them minimum wage to start and if they produced like the so-called experts predicted then give them a raise. This football crap has the salary of these people ass backwards. No were else in the country would a company or employer hire someone at top salary and give them a signing bonus without proof he is going to be a top producer in the company. I am sure more people would prefer to get paid a large bonus before they produce, and even if they fail, would keep the bonus. People wonder why the country is all screwed up and this is a prime example.

Obnoxious: So far this evening we have had two outstanding comments from two knowledgeable individuals. Would a caller who is opposed to their views, please call in and defend Kiper Mel and his network.

Caller # 3: This be Billy Bob Joe from Tennessee. I was a watching all the whole draft on the special station I get now that the big dish on the roof works. My team is the Titans and Kiper says the team done did good and I wreckin this year will contend for the Super Bowl. The peoples we picked are all college graduates, their numbers be high, them jump high, them runs faster than my brotha Joe Bob Billy, and catches the ball when it bes thrown to thems. There be no doubts in my minds we all will do better this year. The other peoples who be with Kiper are smart too and they agree. The two peoples who talked before me is wrong and I am glads I will be ables to see all the new draft picks become football stars on the new dish next year.

Obnoxious: Thank you Bill Bob Joe for those insightful words in defense of Kiper Mel. That is all the time we have tonight. This is Obnoxious Steverarino have a good evening and I’ll talk at you next week.

With kindest regard, Judowolf