JudoWolf.com

Massachusetts is known for a multitude of things:  the U.S.S. Constitution, Plymouth Rock, the Mayflower, Pilgrims, the first Thanksgiving, Native American Indians, The Boston Tea Party, Paul Revere, The British, Bunker Hill, The Old North Church, Nathan Hale, and Independence. Many historians have written volumes about how important these events were, and how they shaped our country. The people of Massachusetts have some, ah, let’s say peccadilloes, which make them unique not only to the region, but the country. It only seems fitting we examine some of these, so the rest of the country will understand them better.

Massachusetts is one of many states with four seasons. This would seem the ideal place to live, as each year the four seasons grace them with its presence. The problem lies in the fact each year the seasons seem to get confused; winter seems to be six months instead of the four it was assigned and spring has steadily been losing ground and is now a month. Summer is a mere two months and then fall comes roaring in as early as September. When speaking to people about this problem they smile and say it’s just a new cycle. Massachusetts people consider themselves hardy; who look at the damp, cold, wind, and rain as part of their daily life. Year after year they put up with this raw weather and each summer flock to the beach to soak up the sun, the past winter long forgotten. They put up with it, would never leave the area, as the weather will be better the next day. During the winter they go to warmer climates, but would never move there because they would miss the seasons. It seems a shame all their lives they could move to a warmer climate but don’t, as their families are entrenched; they don’t want to lose the title of a proud robust bunch that can go through anything and have the years to prove it.

Massachusetts residents are, in your face, loud, opinionated, and take no shit. If they feel you are wrong and they are right they will let you know in no uncertain terms:  if you don’t seem to understand, they will use very colorful language and hand signals, so there will be no doubt in your mind what they mean. It is what it is: this phrase describes them, and they make no bones about it. They are solid hard working individuals and everything they accomplished rests on the work principle. Remember, at all times they are very courteous and polite individuals.

In the sports category the only word to describe them is fanatical. The love they have for the four sports teams in the area is a love hate relationship, and borders on insanity. The Red Sox are called the Nation. The fanatics signed up many years ago to be in the nation and when the hated Yankees come to town the hatred seeps out like a poison. It doesn’t matter what the standings are as long as the Sox win the series, all is right with the world. If, the Yankees win the talk radio sports shows are inundated with calls from irate fans wanting the manager’s head and all players who failed. The papers have a number of dooms day articles regarding the demise of the team and the trades which should take place to beat those damn Yankees. People go into depression and can’t wait for the next series so the Sox can redeem themselves. The other three professional teams have their diehard fans, but they are less rabid than Sox fans. Many, especially Celtics and Bruins fans are fair weather fans and when they are winning come back, when they are losing stay away. The Patriots have been in the Tom Brady era for the past ten years, are used to winning Super Bowls and expect two more from him. However, no matter what happens to the Patriots, Brady will join the other legends; Russell, Cousy, Yaz, and Orr.

Some people have problems with the way Massachusetts citizens speak and some of the words they use. It is often said they butcher the English Language by not saying the er at the end of words. When they were growing up the schools taught them to drop the er at the end of a word and add da, for example; quarter would be quartda, water would be wada, later would be lada, sister would be sisda, and mother would be mothda. Hopefully, these hints will help people who seem confused when speaking to them.

The most commonly used adjective in the Massachusetts lingo is the word WICKED. Wicked can be used in front of any word and examples abound: wicked cool, wicked good, wicked bad, wicked awesome, a wicked curve ball, a wicked catch, a wicked good song, a wicked sox fan, a wicked good meal or a wicked bad meal, a wicked nor’easter, wicked waves, wicked babe, wicked sad or happy, wicked depressed, wicked win or wicked loss, and a wicked pissa blog or not. All others in the country should use this word, as it is wicked fun.

With WICKED regards, Judowolf